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topic icon Author Topic: Why Noah Doesn't Vacation At The Beach  (Read 2076 times)
The Goat
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Relax, Nothing is under control.


URL icon « on: June 09, 2012, 08:56:42 PM »

Why Noah Doesn't Vacation At The Beach
(with apologies to...well, anyone who actually reads this ;-) )

G
Noah was an old man when the Lord came around
C
God said, "there's a lot of sinners living in this town."
D
Said, "I'm gonna make a flood, gonna make it rain
            C                                              G
I'll wash it all away, and start all over again."

Noah said, "I'm tired Lord, don't want to build no raft.
All them sinning neighbors gonna think that I've gone daft.
if it's all right with you, I'm gonna skip out of this town.
You can do your watery gig when old Noah ain't around."

[Chorus]
Bring down that rain, Lord, bring it wet, bring it deep
Cuz the thunder and the lightning bolts make them sinners weep
Bring down those rains, Lord, let them icy waters in
Pour the waters out of glory, cuz the devil can't swim.

But the good Lord is used to folks doing things his way
He said, "You ain't leavin' boy, you're here and you're here to stay.
You're gonna build that boat, for my critters two-by-two.
I know that you don't like it, son, but it's what you're gonna do."

So Noah built the Lord an ark, it was mighty mighty sweet
With floorboards built for every type of animal feet.
They loaded all them critters up as it began to rain.
Noah held his hand outside and this is what he said:

[Chorus]
Bring down that rain, Lord, bring it wet, bring it deep
Cuz the thunder and the lightning bolts make them sinners weep
Bring down those rains, Lord, let them icy waters in
Pour the waters out of glory, cuz the devil can't swim.

Now thirty nine days later things had changed a little bit
Every thing on that old ark reeked of animal sh...stuff
with food and water running low his temper did get frayed
Old Noah wondered if some cosmic joke had been played.

But Day forty one dawned warm and dry, the ark on solid ground.
He unhitched that old gang plank and he lowered it on down
He opened all the cages and the animals ran out.
Noah poured himself a beer and he gave a mighty shout.

[Chorus]
Bring down that rain, Lord, bring it wet, bring it deep
Cuz the thunder and the lightning bolts make them sinners weep
Bring down those rains, Lord, let them icy waters in
Pour the waters out of glory, cuz the devil can't swim.

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You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.
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